Bullying isn’t just a painful childhood memory—it can leave deep psychological scars that affect how you see yourself and relate to others for years to come. For many people, the emotional impact of being bullied doesn’t end when the teasing stops. Instead, it grows inward—evolving into something quieter, more lasting, and more hidden: social anxiety.

Social anxiety disorder involves an intense, persistent fear of being judged, rejected, or embarrassed in social situations. And research shows that chronic bullying is one of the strongest predictors of developing social anxiety—especially when it happens in formative years like childhood or adolescence.

At Wellness Road Psychology, we’ve worked with countless clients who never made the connection between past bullying and their present anxiety. This article explores how bullying plants the seeds of social fear, how it changes behavior and self-perception, and—most importantly—how you can begin to heal.

Whether you’re a parent, educator, or someone who’s still living with the aftershocks of being bullied, this guide will help you understand the psychological link—and the path forward.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a mental health condition characterized by a strong and persistent fear of being judged, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated in social or performance situations. It’s more than being “shy” or socially awkward—it’s a pattern of fear that affects your behavior, thoughts, and even your physical health.

Clinical Definition and Core Symptoms

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), social anxiety disorder involves:

• A marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the person is exposed to possible scrutiny by others
• Fears of acting in a way that will be humiliating or embarrassing
• Social situations are avoided or endured with intense anxiety
• The fear or avoidance is persistent, lasting six months or more
• The anxiety causes significant distress or impairs daily functioning

Common Signs in Children, Teens, and Adults

Social anxiety can look different depending on age, but common signs include:

• Intense fear of speaking up in groups or being called on in class
• Avoiding eye contact, social events, or unfamiliar people
• Rehearsing conversations beforehand or replaying them afterward with self-criticism
• Physical symptoms such as blushing, sweating, shaking, nausea, or a racing heart
• Overwhelming worry days or weeks before a social event
• Avoiding situations like eating in public, using public restrooms, or participating in group activities

Social anxiety for teenagers may also appear as school refusal, clinginess, or tantrums in social settings.

How It Differs from Shyness or Low Confidence

Many people confuse social anxiety with being “just shy” or “quiet,” but there are key differences:

Shyness	Social Anxiety
Temporary discomfort in new situations	Persistent, excessive fear of social interaction
Often fades with time or familiarity	Interferes with relationships, school, work, or well-being
Doesn’t involve significant distress or avoidance	Leads to avoidance, rumination, and sometimes panic

Whereas shyness is a temperament, social anxiety is a mental health condition—and one that is highly treatable with the right support.

How Bullying Creates the Conditions for Social Anxiety

Bullying isn’t just a moment of cruelty—it’s a repeated experience of being excluded, humiliated, or devalued, often during critical periods of emotional development. When a child or teen is bullied, especially over time, it can fundamentally reshape how they view themselves and how safe they feel in the world.

Social anxiety frequently develops from these repeated moments of harm. Long after the bullying ends, the fear, self-doubt, and hyperawareness of others’ opinions often remain.

Social Rejection and Fear of Judgment

One of the most powerful psychological wounds from bullying is repeated social rejection—being laughed at, excluded, mocked, or publicly embarrassed. These experiences directly target a core human need: the need to belong.

Over time, this rejection teaches the brain a dangerous message:

“People are unsafe. They’re watching. And they’re ready to hurt or humiliate me.”

As a result, the person begins to:

• Constantly monitor how they come across to others
• Avoid speaking up or expressing themselves
  Expect negative reactions in any social setting—even when there’s no real threat

A longitudinal study by Copeland found that children who were frequently bullied were significantly more likely to develop social anxiety and other anxiety disorders in adulthood.

This fear of judgment doesn’t fade on its own—it often becomes internalized. Even after the bullying stops, the anxiety remains, now rooted in memory, identity, and nervous system response. A classmate’s laughter in 7th grade might turn into a fear of public speaking 10 years later—not because of a lack of skill, but because of the body’s association with past rejection.

This is how bullying rewires not just behavior, but the emotional template we bring into every social interaction.

Internalizing Negative Labels and Criticism

Bullying doesn’t just hurt in the moment—it often changes how we see ourselves. When someone is repeatedly called “weird,” “ugly,” “stupid,” “awkward,” or any other demeaning name, the brain eventually begins to believe it. This is called internalized bullying—and it’s a key driver of social anxiety.

How Internalization Works:

• At first, bullying feels external: someone says something cruel, and it hurts.
• But when the bullying happens over and over, especially in a public setting or from people you hoped would accept you, it starts to feel personal and true.
• The inner dialogue changes from “They’re being mean” to “They’re right about me.”

This process leads to:

• Low self-esteem
• Overactive self-criticism
• Fear of being “found out” as flawed or unacceptable
• A constant need for reassurance—but difficulty trusting it

According to McDougall & Vaillancourt, internalizing problems—like anxiety and depression—are among the most common long-term consequences of peer victimization, particularly when the bullying includes personal insults and social humiliation.

Example:

A teen who was frequently called “awkward” in middle school may grow into a young adult who dreads group settings—not because they are awkward, but because they’ve come to expect rejection. Even neutral facial expressions from others may be interpreted as criticism.

This is not weakness—it’s a learned pattern. And it can be unlearned.

Therapy can help untangle these internalized beliefs, challenge their validity, and replace them with more accurate and compassionate self-perceptions.

Loss of Trust and Sense of Safety in Social Settings

Repeated bullying does more than damage self-esteem—it often rewires a person’s sense of social safety. Instead of viewing other people as potential sources of connection, support, or friendship, a bullied person may begin to see social situations as threatening or dangerous.

From Connection to Protection

When someone is bullied, especially during childhood or adolescence, their brain learns to associate social environments with pain—a defense mechanism meant to prevent further hurt. But this protective strategy can persist long after the bullying stops, leading to:

• Hypervigilance in social situations (constantly scanning for threat)
• Mistrust of peers, coworkers, or even well-meaning friends
• Emotional shutdown in group settings
• A belief that “people can’t be trusted” or “getting close means getting hurt”

Research from McDougall & Vaillancourt shows that bullying often disrupts typical social development and contributes to long-term mistrust, social withdrawal, and difficulty forming safe peer relationships.

What’s Happening in the Brain?

Trauma studies have shown that the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) becomes more reactive in individuals who experience chronic social stress, including bullying. This creates a “false alarm system” in the brain—where even neutral or friendly interactions feel like threats.

Over time, the person may come to expect rejection, judgment, or betrayal in any social environment, even when there’s no real danger. This is a core component of social anxiety: the fear is real, even if the threat is not.

Therapy can help retrain the brain and body to feel safe again in social spaces. But the first step is recognizing that this mistrust and fear didn’t come out of nowhere—it was learned through experience. And that means it can be unlearned, too.

Long-Term Effects on Brain Development and Stress Response

Bullying doesn’t just shape thoughts and behaviors—it can actually impact brain development and the way the body responds to stress, especially if the bullying occurs during childhood or adolescence, when the brain is still maturing.

Chronic social stress, like repeated peer victimization, activates the body’s fight-or-flight system in ways that—over time—can lead to lasting neurological and psychological changes.

The Brain Under Social Threat

Repeated bullying can:

• Overactivate the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, making it more sensitive to perceived social threats
• Alter the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, emotion regulation, and perspective-taking
• Disrupt the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which regulates cortisol (the body’s main stress hormone)

This results in:

• A heightened sensitivity to stress
• Difficulty calming down after social discomfort
• Increased vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation

A study by Copeland found that individuals who were bullied in childhood had significantly higher rates of anxiety disorders well into adulthood, even after controlling for other risk factors.

Why the Effects Linger

The body doesn’t always recognize that the bullying has stopped. Long after the external threat is gone, the brain and nervous system may still react to social situations as if they’re dangerous, even when nothing threatening is happening.

This is why someone who was bullied years ago might still:

• Avoid eye contact or speaking up in groups
• Feel tense in seemingly safe environments
• Experience physical anxiety symptoms from small triggers (like being called on in class or meeting new people)

The good news? Brains are highly adaptable. With trauma-informed therapy and consistent support, the nervous system can re-learn how to feel safe again. What was once a learned fear can become a reclaimed sense of freedom.

The Cycle of Bullying and Social Withdrawal

One of the most painful long-term effects of bullying is how it teaches people to protect themselves by pulling away. At first, avoiding social situations can feel like self-preservation—and sometimes it is. But over time, this avoidance can turn into a cycle of isolation, fear, and reinforced anxiety, especially when it’s driven by unresolved trauma.

Avoidance Behaviors as Coping Mechanisms

After repeated bullying, it’s natural for someone to begin avoiding the environments or people that remind them of those experiences. These behaviors often begin as survival strategies—but left unchecked, they can grow into rigid patterns of fear-driven withdrawal.

Common avoidance behaviors include:

• Staying silent in group conversations
• Skipping school, work, or social events
• Turning down invitations even when they want to attend
• Avoiding eye contact or sitting at the back of the room
• Using phones or headphones to block out interaction
• Withdrawing emotionally or physically from peers

These patterns can start small—avoiding one classmate, one group, one room—and grow to affect every area of life.

A study by Gazelle & Ladd showed that children who were both victimized and chronically withdrawn were more likely to develop internalizing problems like social anxiety and depression as they got older.

Why Avoidance Feels Safe—But Makes Anxiety Worse

Avoidance relieves anxiety in the short term, but it reinforces it long term. Each time you avoid something scary, your brain interprets it as dangerous. This keeps anxiety strong—and can make it harder to break the cycle later on.

What starts as a reasonable strategy to avoid pain often becomes the very reason someone feels more isolated, anxious, and stuck.

Therapy helps people gently face the things they’ve avoided—not all at once, but step by step. With the right tools, it’s possible to rebuild social confidence and restore a sense of safety in connection.

How Withdrawal Increases Loneliness and Reinforces Anxiety

While withdrawing from social situations can feel like protection after bullying, it often creates a self-reinforcing loop: the more someone pulls away, the more isolated they feel—and the more anxious they become about reconnecting. Over time, loneliness isn’t just an outcome of social anxiety—it becomes a driver of it.

Why Withdrawal Feels Safer (At First)

After being bullied, stepping back from people can seem logical:

• “If I avoid others, they can’t hurt me.”
• “If I stay invisible, I won’t be rejected.”

In the short term, avoidance lowers anxiety. But in the long term, it denies the person the chance to form safe, positive relationships—and confirms their fear that others aren’t trustworthy.

The Reinforcement Loop

1. Avoidance prevents new, positive social experiences
2. Lack of connection leads to loneliness and feelings of worthlessness
3. Loneliness increases sensitivity to rejection and lowers self-esteem
4. Anxiety grows, reinforcing the belief: “I can’t handle social situations”
5. The person withdraws further—and the cycle deepens

In the same study by Gazelle & Ladd, children who were both anxious and excluded by peers were more likely to develop internalizing symptoms, including social helplessness and persistent distress in peer settings.

Loneliness Changes the Brain

Research shows that chronic loneliness affects brain regions associated with reward, empathy, and emotional regulation. It also contributes to higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), making anxious people feel constantly “on edge,” even when nothing is wrong.

This means social anxiety doesn’t just keep people isolated—it rewires them to feel like they don’t belong anywhere.

Therapy helps reverse this cycle by:

• Teaching safe, manageable ways to re-engage socially
• Rebuilding confidence through small, guided exposures
• Reducing shame and self-blame, and reconnecting people to relationships they deserve

When Bullying Leads to Learned Helplessness and Self-Blame

One of the most damaging effects of bullying—especially when it goes on for months or years—is the belief that nothing you do will change anything. This mindset, known as learned helplessness, often develops when a person feels repeatedly powerless to stop harm, protect themselves, or gain support.

What Is Learned Helplessness?

Learned helplessness is a psychological state in which someone gives up trying to change or escape a painful situation—because past efforts failed. Originally observed in trauma research by Seligman (1975), it’s now widely recognized in anxiety and depression.

In bullying, this might sound like:

• “No one ever stood up for me—so why would they now?”
• “Even if I try to be confident, I’ll still get judged.”
• “There’s no point in speaking up. People will just laugh.”

Research shows that persistent victimization can lead to increased internalizing problems, such as self-blame and hopelessness, especially when children feel unsupported or ignored by peers and adults.

Self-Blame Deepens the Cycle

People who have been bullied often turn inward, blaming themselves for the way they were treated. This might sound like:

• “I was too sensitive.”
• “I should’ve fought back.”
• “I deserved it.”

Self-blame doesn’t just increase shame—it reinforces the belief that social failure is inevitable, and that nothing can be done to change it. Over time, this can lead to:

• Persistent anxiety
• Depression
• Isolation
• Difficulty asking for help—even in adulthood

Healing Is Possible

The antidote to learned helplessness is relearning agency—the belief that your actions do make a difference. In therapy, this looks like:

• Challenging old beliefs that “nothing will change”
• Creating small, achievable social goals
• Processing the trauma of being ignored, silenced, or blamed
• Rebuilding a sense of personal power and choice

Social anxiety rooted in bullying isn’t about being weak—it’s about being hurt repeatedly without protection. But healing is always possible, and it starts with understanding that what happened to you was not your fault.

Bullying Types That Can Trigger Social Anxiety

Not all bullying looks the same—but nearly every form of it can leave a lasting emotional mark. Social anxiety often develops not just because bullying happens, but how it happens and how the brain internalizes those experiences.

Different types of bullying damage self-perception in different ways. Understanding them helps validate your experience—and makes it easier to identify the root of ongoing anxiety.

Verbal Bullying: Name-Calling, Mocking, Public Humiliation

Verbal bullying targets a person’s identity through words. Whether it’s about appearance, voice, clothing, or social behavior, repeated verbal attacks can destroy confidence and create lasting fear of being noticed or spoken to.

Examples:

• Being called “weird,” “fat,” “ugly,” or “stupid”
• Imitating someone’s voice or gestures to get laughs
• Publicly mocking someone’s answer in class or online

Why it causes social anxiety:

• Verbal bullying creates a fear of being seen or heard
• It leads to hyperawareness of how others perceive you
• Victims often replay these moments for years, worrying it will happen again

Verbal aggression is linked to increased internalizing symptoms, including anxiety and depressive symptoms, especially when humiliation is public and ongoing.

Relational Bullying: Exclusion, Rumors, “Mean Girl” Behavior

Also known as social bullying, relational bullying uses manipulation, gossip, and rejection to isolate a person from their peer group. It’s subtle, often invisible to adults—but incredibly damaging.

Examples:

• Being left out of group chats or activities
• Having rumors or secrets spread to damage reputation
• Being turned into a social “outcast” by a clique or group

Why it causes social anxiety:

• Relational bullying teaches people that connection is unsafe
• It creates deep mistrust of peers and social groups
• Victims may fear new relationships will turn into betrayal

This type of bullying is particularly associated with social withdrawal and fear of peer judgment, especially in adolescent girls.

Cyberbullying and Its 24/7 Psychological Impact

Unlike other forms of bullying, cyberbullying doesn’t stop when school ends. It follows the victim home—on their phone, in their texts, in their DMs. It’s public, persistent, and hard to escape.

Examples:

• Insulting or threatening messages
• Humiliating images or videos shared without consent
• Group targeting or pile-ons in comment sections

Why it causes social anxiety:

• Creates a constant fear of being watched or attacked
• Public shaming online can feel impossible to erase
• Victims often fear digital spaces—making connection feel unsafe both offline and online

Kowalski found that victims of cyberbullying reported higher levels of social anxiety, depression, and self-consciousness than victims of traditional bullying alone.

Physical Bullying and Threat-Based Trauma

Physical bullying is any form of unwanted physical contact or intimidation. While it’s the most visibly recognized form, its psychological impact is often minimized.

Examples:

• Pushing, tripping, hitting, or damaging someone’s belongings
• Threats of violence or intimidating body language
• Being cornered or physically overpowered in school or public spaces

Why it causes social anxiety:

• The body learns that being around people = danger
• Victims may develop trauma responses (freeze, dissociation, panic) in social situations
• Even safe settings can trigger flashbacks or anticipatory fear

Chronic physical victimization in childhood has been linked to increased risk of PTSD, generalized anxiety, and social withdrawal in adolescence and adulthood.

Each of these bullying types has its own “emotional fingerprint”—but they all contribute to the same outcome: a belief that being seen, heard, or connected puts you at risk. Therapy helps interrupt that belief and build new, safer associations with social life.

Signs That Social Anxiety May Be Linked to Past Bullying

Many people with social anxiety struggle to pinpoint where it came from. But for a significant number, the anxiety didn’t start out of nowhere—it started after being laughed at, excluded, humiliated, or hurt. Often, they’ve never connected the dots between past bullying and their present fears.

Here are signs that your social anxiety may be rooted in earlier experiences of peer victimization:

• Hyperawareness of Judgment or Criticism

Do you:

• Constantly monitor how you’re coming across in conversations?
• Replay interactions in your mind, looking for “mistakes”?
• Feel like everyone is watching or judging you—even when they’re not?

These patterns often develop after repeated public criticism or mockery. When bullying has taught your brain that judgment is likely and dangerous, it keeps you on alert—even in safe situations.

This kind of social hypervigilance is a common consequence of childhood bullying and has been linked to long-term anxiety and negative self-perception.

• Avoidance of Social Settings—Even Years Later

If you consistently avoid:

• Parties, group activities, or networking events
• Speaking up in class or meetings
• Being in the spotlight in any way (even in small groups)

…and you’re not just introverted, but actively afraid of how others might react—you may be carrying unprocessed experiences from earlier bullying. Avoidance is often a leftover coping mechanism that made sense at the time but now keeps you stuck.

• Persistent Low Self-Worth and Fear of Humiliation

Do you assume that:

• Others won’t like you?
• You’ll say something stupid?
• People are secretly making fun of you?

If these thoughts feel automatic, they may not be based on your present reality—but on an internalized belief system formed by years of being treated as less-than.

• Emotional Flashbacks or “Body Memories” in Social Situations

You might not have a conscious memory of the bullying—but your body remembers. If you:

• Suddenly feel panicked, frozen, or dissociated in group settings
• Have physical symptoms like nausea or shaking when interacting socially
• Feel like you’re “back in middle school” emotionally, even as an adult

…you may be experiencing trauma-linked reactions rooted in past peer harm.

According to trauma research, emotional memory and somatic responses to social threat can persist long after conscious memories fade, particularly in individuals with social anxiety rooted in early life experiences.

Recognizing that your anxiety might be learned from past harm—not hardwired into your personality—can be the beginning of healing. Therapy helps validate these patterns and guide you toward breaking them, with tools that rebuild safety, trust, and self-worth.

How Therapy Helps Break the Cycle

Social anxiety rooted in bullying doesn’t go away on its own—especially when it’s been reinforced for years through avoidance, self-blame, and fear. But with the right kind of therapeutic support, these patterns can be unlearned.

Therapy helps people rebuild the safety, trust, and self-worth that bullying took away—without forcing them to change who they are. It’s not about making you extroverted. It’s about helping you feel free again in your own skin.

Rebuilding Self-Worth and Self-Trust

Bullying often attacks your sense of identity: your appearance, intelligence, voice, or personality. Over time, it can convince you that something is wrong with you.

In therapy, we help you:

• Challenge internalized beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m a burden”
• Explore where those beliefs came from—and whether they were ever true
• Develop a new inner dialogue rooted in self-compassion and truth
• Reconnect with your voice, opinions, and value—even if it’s been silent for years

Addressing Trauma and Shame Through CBT and ACT

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are two highly effective treatments for social anxiety linked to past bullying.

Therapy might include:

• Identifying distorted thought patterns and fear-based predictions
• Gradual exposure to avoided situations (at your pace)
• Learning how to observe anxious thoughts instead of obeying them
• Practicing mindfulness and self-soothing strategies during triggering moments
• Separating your true identity from the labels bullies placed on you

Learning New Social Skills in a Safe, Guided Space

If bullying caused you to withdraw or feel “behind” socially, therapy offers a judgment-free environment to practice skills that may have felt dangerous before.

This might include:

• Expressing opinions without fear
• Making eye contact and managing discomfort
• Rehearsing assertive responses to criticism
• Building confidence in real conversations and relationships

Therapy helps you realize: you are not broken—just under-practiced in safety.

The Wellness Road Psychology Approach: Anxiety Therapy Without Medication

At Wellness Road Psychology, we specialize in helping people heal from anxiety — without relying on medication as a first step. Our approach is:

• Evidence-based: We use CBT, ACT, and trauma-informed models to target the root causes of anxiety
• Non-judgmental: Whether you’re anxious, avoidant, or unsure, we meet you exactly where you are
• Personalized: You’ll get therapy that fits your story—not a one-size-fits-all plan
• Empowering: Our goal is to help you move from fear to freedom, not to “fix” your personality

If your social anxiety has roots in bullying, you’re not alone—and you’re not stuck. With the right support, healing is not only possible, it’s expected.

Book your free 30-minute consultation today with a licensed therapist at Wellness Road Psychology, and take the first step toward peace and connection.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can bullying in childhood cause anxiety in adulthood?

Yes. Research clearly shows that childhood bullying can lead to long-term psychological effects, including social anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress. Individuals who were bullied as children are significantly more likely to experience anxiety disorders well into adulthood—even after the bullying has stopped. These emotional impacts can persist if left unaddressed, but they are treatable.

Is it possible to overcome social anxiety if it’s been around for years?

Absolutely. Even if social anxiety has been part of your life for a long time, it is highly treatable. Therapy—especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—can help reduce anxiety, rebuild confidence, and shift long-standing patterns of fear and avoidance. Healing doesn’t depend on how long you’ve struggled—it begins with taking the first step.

Can therapy help even if I never told anyone I was bullied?

Yes. You don’t have to have shared your experience before—or even remember every detail—for therapy to help. Many clients only realize in therapy that their current anxiety is rooted in past bullying. A skilled therapist can guide you in exploring these patterns gently and safely, helping you release the shame and fear that may have kept you silent.

What if I was bullied by family, not classmates?

Bullying can happen anywhere—including at home. If a parent, sibling, or caregiver repeatedly criticized, mocked, excluded, or threatened you, the effects can be just as harmful as peer bullying—sometimes more so. Family-based bullying can damage self-worth and create deep fear of rejection, which often shows up as social anxiety. Therapy can help you process this trauma and rebuild healthy boundaries and self-trust.

Do I need medication to treat bullying-related anxiety?

Not necessarily. Many people find meaningful relief through therapy alone, especially when it’s tailored to anxiety that stems from past experiences like bullying. At Wellness Road Psychology, we specialize in non-medication-based treatment that uses research-backed approaches like CBT, ACT, and mindfulness. If medication ever becomes part of the conversation, it’s always your choice—and never the first or only option.