Supporting someone with depression can feel like walking through fog. You want to help, but you’re not sure how. You don’t want to say the wrong thing, but silence feels just as heavy. When someone you care about is hurting, it’s natural to feel helpless, confused, or even burned out.

Depression is more than sadness – it’s a mental health condition that affects mood, energy, sleep, appetite, thoughts, and relationships. It can change the way a person sees themselves, the world, and even you. When you love someone with depression, you may notice them withdrawing, seeming irritable, or losing interest in things they used to enjoy. You may take it personally – or wonder if you’re doing enough.

The truth is: your support matters more than you think. Research shows that strong social support can improve recovery outcomes for people with depression and even reduce symptoms over time (National Institute of Mental Health).

This guide isn’t about fixing someone’s depression. It’s about showing up in ways that are grounded, compassionate, and clinically informed. You’ll learn seven therapist-approved ways to support a person with depression – without losing yourself in the process.

1. Understand What Depression Really Is

It’s easy to mistake depression for sadness. But while sadness is a natural response to life events, clinical depression is a medical condition that affects how a person feels, thinks, and functions on a day-to-day basis.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), depression is diagnosed when someone experiences symptoms like persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities, fatigue, changes in sleep or appetite, difficulty concentrating, and feelings of hopelessness for at least two weeks. For many, these symptoms last much longer – and don’t always respond to “positive thinking” or encouragement to “snap out of it.”

People with depression often feel weighed down by guilt, shame, or numbness. They may struggle to get out of bed, respond to texts, or even perform basic self-care. This isn’t because they’re lazy or unmotivated – it’s because depression disrupts the brain’s chemistry and energy systems. In fact, research shows that depression can alter the structure and function of brain regions involved in emotional regulation and decision-making (CNS Neurosci Ther.).

Understanding this helps shift your mindset from “Why aren’t they trying harder?” to “They’re struggling with something real – and I can meet them with compassion.”

2. Be Present, Not Perfect

One of the most powerful things you can do for someone with depression is simply to be there. Not to cheer them up. Not to give advice. Just to sit with them, listen, and let them know they’re not alone.

Many people feel pressure to say the “right” thing or offer a solution. But depression isn’t a problem that can be fixed with a motivational quote or a silver lining. In fact, trying to push positivity too soon can backfire, making the person feel misunderstood or dismissed.

Instead, validate their experience, even if it’s painful to hear. You can say things like:

• “I’m here with you.”
• “That sounds really hard.”
• “I don’t know exactly what to say, but I care about you and I’m not going anywhere.”

These kinds of statements foster emotional safety and show that your relationship isn’t dependent on them “being okay.” Psychologists call this emotional attunement – a key component of supportive relationships, especially in mental health contexts (Frontiers in Psychiatry).

Avoid saying things like:

• “At least you have…”
• “You just need to stay positive.”
• “I know exactly how you feel.”

You don’t need to say something perfect – you just need to show up. Presence, not perfection, is what heals.

3. Ask How You Can Help – Then Respect Their Boundaries

When someone you care about is struggling, it’s natural to want to jump in and do something. But depression can make people feel powerless, and stepping in without asking may unintentionally add to that feeling.

Instead of assuming what they need, ask open-ended questions like:

• “Is there something I can do to support you today?”

• “Would it help if I came over, or would you prefer space right now?”

• “Do you want company for that appointment, or would you rather go alone?”

This approach communicates respect. It gives the person a sense of agency – something that’s often diminished by depression.

At the same time, remember that decision-making can be harder for someone in a depressive episode. Even simple questions might feel overwhelming. If you sense that’s the case, it’s okay to offer gentle, specific options like:

 “I’m going to the store later – do you want me to grab anything for you?” or “I have a free hour tomorrow if you want help with laundry or just someone to talk to.”

Be mindful not to over-help or take over responsibilities that aren’t yours. Doing too much can reinforce helplessness or create dependency. Boundaries matter – for both of you.

Supporting someone with depression is about walking the line between being available and respecting autonomy. That balance can take time, but it starts with asking, listening, and adjusting.

4. Support Healthy Routines Without Pressure

Daily routines may seem small, but for someone with depression, they can be lifelines. Regular meals, movement, and sleep can stabilize mood, reduce fatigue, and create a sense of structure – yet depression often strips away the motivation to maintain them.

Your role isn’t to enforce a schedule – it’s to gently encourage small, sustainable habits that support emotional well-being. Research shows that even light physical activity, like walking for 30 minutes a day, can significantly reduce depressive symptoms (Harvard Health Publishing). Exposure to natural light, consistent sleep, and nutrient-dense meals also play important roles in mood regulation.

Here’s what that might look like in practice:

• Invite them to take a short walk with you – but make it okay if they say no.

• Offer to cook a simple meal together, or drop off something nourishing.

• Gently ask about their sleep – but don’t criticize late mornings or naps.

• Model the behavior yourself, without pushing them to join.

The key is inviting, not insisting. If they decline, don’t make it a big deal. Just leave the door open. Often, the consistency of the invitation matters more than the activity itself.

Over time, these micro-moments of care can help restore rhythm and momentum – without triggering guilt or shame.

5. Learn to Spot Crisis Signs

Supporting someone with depression also means knowing when it’s time to seek more immediate help. While many people with depression never experience a crisis, others may reach a point where their safety is at risk – especially if suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or intense hopelessness are present.

Warning signs of a mental health crisis may include:

• Talking about feeling worthless, hopeless, or like a burden

• Expressing thoughts of death or suicide (even subtly)

• Giving away belongings or saying goodbye

• Sudden changes in behavior – either extreme withdrawal or reckless actions

• Increased use of substances like alcohol or drugs

If you notice any of these, it’s important to take them seriously – even if the person downplays it. 

Ask directly, using calm, nonjudgmental language:
“Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”

Contrary to myth, asking about suicide does not increase the risk – it opens the door for honest conversation and support (National Institute of Mental Health).

If the answer is yes – or if you’re unsure – take action:

• In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

• Remove access to any lethal means if possible

• Encourage them to contact a therapist, psychiatrist, or go to the ER if necessary

• Stay with them or ask someone else to if they are at immediate risk

Also, know the difference between a crisis moment and a chronic mental health concern. Supporting someone in crisis is vital, but ongoing therapy is where long-term healing happens. You’re not expected to take the place of a trained mental health professional – and you shouldn’t.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Being there for someone with depression is meaningful – but it can also be exhausting. You may feel emotionally drained, worried, or even resentful at times. These feelings are normal, and they’re not a sign that you’re failing. They’re a sign that you need support, too.

This is especially true if you’re in a caregiving role. Over time, trying to “be strong” without a break can lead to caregiver burnout, which includes fatigue, irritability, trouble sleeping, and feeling numb or helpless. Left unchecked, burnout can harm both you and your ability to help the person you care about (Mayo Clinic).

Here’s how to protect your own well-being while offering support:

• Set boundaries. It’s okay to say “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll check in tomorrow.” You don’t need to be available 24/7.

• Check in with yourself. Notice how you’re feeling and what you might need – rest, space, joy, or connection.

• Find your own support. Talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or even confiding in a trusted friend can make a difference.

• Do things that restore you. Whether it’s time in nature, exercise, reading, or quiet, make space for what fills you up.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your mental health isn’t selfish – it’s essential. In fact, research shows that caregivers who take care of themselves are more effective, more present, and more emotionally available to those they support.

7. Gently Encourage Professional Help

While your support can be incredibly valuable, you are not their therapist – and you don’t have to be. Encouraging a loved one to seek professional help is one of the most important ways you can support their healing journey.

This can be a sensitive conversation. Depression often comes with shame, fear of judgment, or past negative experiences with therapy. The key is to normalize – not pressure.

Try saying things like:

• “I care about you and want you to feel better. Have you thought about talking to someone who specializes in this?”

• “Therapy helped someone I know – it might be worth trying, even just once.”

• “Would you like help finding a therapist or setting up a first appointment?”

These gentle invitations keep the door open. Avoid ultimatums or telling them what to do. If they’re not ready, that’s okay. Reassure them that you’ll be there when they are.

You can also offer practical help, like researching providers, checking insurance coverage, or sitting with them while they make the call. Sometimes, the logistics are what feel overwhelming – not the idea of getting help.

If you’re unsure where to start, you can talk to a depression therapist on our team for support and guidance.

And if they’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help, remind them: one bad fit doesn’t mean all therapy is ineffective. Just like any relationship, it can take time to find the right match.

About Wellness Road Psychology

At Wellness Road Psychology, we specialize in helping individuals and families navigate life’s most difficult moments with care, clarity, and compassion. Whether you’re supporting someone with depression or seeking help for yourself, our experienced therapists are here to guide you every step of the way.

We offer both in-person and online therapy sessions, tailored to meet your needs and preferences. Our team includes licensed professionals who understand the complexities of depression and provide evidence-based, personalized treatment plans.

You don’t have to do this alone.
Book your free 15-minute consultation today and take the first step toward healing together.